I just know everyone has missed me so much! Well for everyone I dont know and to update all that I love things have been hectic and man am I glad I have a computer again.

Lets see for those of you who dont know me I'm Tessa 21 (almost 22!) y/o mama to 3. Ian is now 6 1/2 and in kindergarten (for the second time after a very tramatic first time) and is reading and mr. social butterfly. which after last year is more than I ever could have hoped for! He's very smart and he's mr. mom. He loves to boss his brother and sister around and is always worried that they are going to get hurt.

Aidan is 3 1/2 and man does he test my patience. He is talking very well, to us at least. He tends to slur and run his words together so its hard for other people to understand him. He loves to torture his brother. Ian is always going "mom Aidan hit me" "mom Aidan wont stop pulling my shirt" "mom Aidan took my toy" "mom Aidan took my school book" its never ending with that kid! He also thinks he knows absolutely everything! If I say something like if you dont stop Im going to put you in time out, he'll respond with something like "not if i put you there first" LIke I said he's always testing my patience!

Kiara is 18 months (19 mo on the 1st) and is such a diva! She loves to get dressed up and show off her outfit and loves me to paint her nails. Shes not really into toys but loooves stuffed animals and dolls. She loves to hug and kiss them. She's a biter though so Im trying to get her to stop. A friend who comes over a lot, her daughter bites and after about 5 visits of her continually biting Kiara no matter what we would do Kiara finally retaliated back and hasnt stopped since. She loves animals of all sorts and is always hugging and kissing our dog and cat. We call her Ra-ra more than anything. That is what Aidan would call her before he learned to pronounce it right and it just stuck. She loves to talk and is very good at it. She has quite a vocabulary already!

My health stuff is still a mystery. After finally getting the nerve to leave my horrible dr who thought pain meds were much better than getting down to whats actually wrong with me. I went to a orthopedic surgeon because the tendons in my hands have started rolling over towards the backs of my hands. Its incredibly painful. Ive also gone through a very difficult and long tapering with my pain meds. They started out as a good thing and I ended up despising them since I relyed on them so heavily. Im at the point where I can take one if I need it,not just on a schedule. I'm so glad to be off of them. My hands will have to have surgery and I'll be starting methyltrexate soon. Ive very leery of any immunosuppressants with having 3 kids but i need to be able to slow the damage. they recently found out I have 2 leaks in my heart. Nothing serious but they definitely need to watch it.

My husband and I are going through a very hard time and Im struggling with whether I want to leave him or not. Its hard. So I'm coming back to the place where I've been coming since Ian was a newborn that was such a source of comfort to me. Im hoping I can get to know everyone again and meet all the new girls. It looks like girl-mom is up and running as it once was again. Im so happy. I hope I can become as active as I once was and maybe let some of this stress off my shoulders. I don't know who the mods are or if I still have backroom access but I'll need it. I want to be able to talk about some stuff I dont want on the public boards. Im so glad to be back! Thanks everyone!