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Kid questions about dadsWell as some of you may know, I have a loser bd (
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who I am not with, we broke up when my son was a baby and he is 5 now so doesn't remember us together. My son (E) sees him less than once a month. Anyway, lately kiddo has been asking me questions like, why is J his dad, why am I not married to J, how I got pregnant with him if J and I weren't married, etc. and he also said the saddest thing ever yesterday, we were putting away toys that he brought to his dads during a visit recently and I asked if they played with them together, and he goes "my dad doesn't like to play with 5 year olds, I played by myself" I almost started crying. It is really sad to see him so curious about his dad and want to know him and J just shuts him out because he can't deal with his own issues or w/e. So E and I talked about how someone doesn't have to be married in order to get pregnant, and I pointed out to him some of his friends that don't have the traditional nuclear family and that its okay if your parents aren't married or you don't live with them, and also pointed out to him the family members that show love to him. But I'm wondering if there is anything else I could be saying to him to understand that its not his fault his dad is a d bag. Gah! Any advice?
Re: Kid questions about dads
um, that weird devil symbol was supposed to be a J in parentheses! lol
Re: Kid questions about dads
I sympathize with you. I dont know what to do and im sorry.
J calls my partner daddy. when he talks about his dad he calls him the other dad, but thats conversation is always rare. Js dad doesnt see him though. I mean if his dad isn't to good for him would you be able to just not bring him there?
again i am sympathizing but i dont know how to handel it either.
Re: Kid questions about dads
I'm sorry, I really have no advice. This has been really hard for us, as my daughter has no dad in her life, but my son has a great dad and I'm pregnant with another baby who will have a dad. Her dad waltzed into her life for the first time in her memory a few months ago because he got out of prison. He didn't show up, but he called her, and they had a few really long, bonding phone conversations over the next few weeks. The last time she tried to call him, the phone had been disconnected, and she was heartbroken. Who knows if or when she'll hear from him again. I wouldn't be surprised if he landed right back in jail.
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I am not looking forward to the day that my son wonders about his dad... he has only seen my son a handful of times in his 2 years of life. I refuse to acknowledge him as 'daddy.' I told bd that when he starts acting like a daddy then he can be called that. Bd's family is starting to fade out too, so hopefully we will not get confused by why so and so is his grandma or aunt or uncle etc..
Re: Kid questions about dads
My dd has never been too confused about her grandma and other extended family members on bd's side even though the extent of her relationship with bd was a few telephone calls a over a year ago. Although, she was already 4 before she started having any contact with his family members.
She DOES get confused about her sisters (bd's other two daughters) and will sometimes ask "how come my sisters don't live with us again, Mom"
Re: Kid questions about dads
well that's good to hear. thanks for the input