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Mental illness and abuseMy friend is in a mental hospital for the 10th time. She's locked in right now and can't sign herself out. The first time she was committed was a week after her daughter was born. Her man is extremely mentally abusive, and if she leaves him she loses her daughter. She called me today, and her psychosis is getting worse. She is on so many drugs I could barely understand her, and she feels hopeless and suicidal. She thinks the hospital staff is trying to kill her. The place she's at is well known for their abusive treatment of the patients there. She thinks her whole family and her boyfriend's family is conspiring against her, and from what I know of them, she might actually be right. There is nothing I can do to help her. I feel like she's a lost cause, and the powerlessness I feel is horrible. Everyone in her life is against her. Her parents are abusive (and were horribly abusive when she was a child), her boyfriend is abusive and uses her child to control her, and I am her only friend, and he almost convinced her that I am untrustworthy and she can't talk to me. She's not allowed to talk to me about anything substantial, and she isn't allowed to have her own life. There's nothing I can do for her. I just see her getting worse and worse, and it's so horrible to watch that I want to remove myself from the situation, but I don't want to leave her with no one to listen to her at all. She wants me to write her a letter and she wants me to visit. I don't know if I can even help her, or if being there for her puts myself in jeapordy. I wish I could change the system and get her the help she needs, but I can't. All I can do is watch her slide down into her own hell.
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That sounds horrible. I'm so
That sounds horrible.
I'm so sorry for both of you, and for her LO to have to grow up in that situation.
I wish I had something helpful to say.
I would go visit her if at all possible.
Are you able to get in touch
Are you able to get in touch with a mental health advocate on her behalf, explain the situation and find out what can be done for her? That could make a huge difference to her situation.
That sounds like a hard
That sounds like a hard situation to be witness to. Why would she lose her daughter for breaking up with her boyfriend?
She thinks he would most
She thinks he would most likely get custody because of her history of mental illness.
I'm really sorry to hear
I'm really sorry to hear about this. It sounds like a really hard situation. Where are you living (not specifically, but are you in the U.S., Canada, etc.)? Is there any means by which she could be transferred to a different mental health hospital?
When you say this, "I don't know if I can even help her, or if being there for her puts myself in jeopardy," what exactly do you mean? Legally? In terms of her boyfriend and family potentially retaliating? Something else?
How old is her daughter? Does she have any extended family who might be able to care for her? It sounds like, if her boyfriend and her parents have been abusive, that there's not really any safe, healthy place for her daughter in the situation you describe. Do you think it could help to get a social worker or child advocate involved somehow? I assume, from what you say, that she's lost or given up her parental rights. Does the boyfriend have full custody?
Again, that sounds like a really hard situation. I'm sorry it's weighing on you. I hope that everything works out for the best.
I'm in the US. Her family is
I'm in the US. Her family is all against her, she has no support. They have tried to cut her contact with me, and have publicly slandered me for trying to help her. Her daughter is 3.
Ugh, that sucks! I don't know
Ugh, that sucks!
I don't know where you are living, but in my area, they have a Psychiatric Patient Advocacy office..It assists consumers of the mental health system, who have suffered abuses/mistreatments in the mental health system.
The system you describe dosn't sound like the one in my area? I am assuming USA? I really know very little about Mental Health Laws in the states. It may be useful for her to have a full understanding of what her legal rights are, in regards to being kept in hospital, medicated agaisnt her will, etc.
Is she suffering Post-Partum psychosis? Or is this depression with psychotic effects? Schizophrenia?
The frusterating part, is I imagine the boyfriend uses the mental illness agaisnt her. Thats the worst. If she leaves him, he would probably take her to court to prove she is unfit. Its frusterating to see this happen to people.
I wish I could be of more help. I just dont know the laws in your area.....
Particularly if this is a
Particularly if this is a hospital known for abuse, it's in her best interest to have frequent visitors.
Another thing is that knowing the laws can be extremely helpful. Assuming she didn't initially consent to treatment, in my state she legally has a right to contest treatment and could appear before a judge to be released after 10 days.
Another thing that could greatly help her is her finding a good psychiatrist. They can be great assets in keeping you out of the position of forced hospitalization and likely could help her get off some of the meds.