It sounds like you are having a really tough time. I'm sure you are trying all sorts of things, so I won't get into suggestions and questions. I just want you to know that I'm listening.

thank you, charlie. it may not seem like you said much, but you have no idea how good it feels just to hear someone say they care enough to listen.

I'm sorry you're having such a tough time. Hopefully it'll get easier, soon.

Man, it sounds like you are having a rough time with him. You sound like you are at your wits ends. Vent here as much as you need!

Has he been classified or given a diagnosis by anyone? I'm wondering what kind of supports are available to you and him through the county or state. I'm sorry and I cannot imagine.

i'm sorry to hear that you're so stressed out, but that's how motherhood is. there's never a day you won't go worried or stressed. and nobody has a "perfect" or "normal" child. NOBODY. when you decided to keep your baby you amde the decision to love him & be there for him no matter how he turned out. believe it or not childern feed off our energy. so when you have a negative ora he's going to respond negatively. also msot childern act out in school because of the lack of attention at home. he's craving to be the center of attetion whether it's bad or good. my suggestion is get yourself together and make it a game with him. get him interested in what you want him to do. you want him to eat his dinner, make it a game. you want him to take a bath/bursh his teeth, make it a game. also play with him before before bedtime and all that. that way so he's tired and he'll want to sleep. makes life so much easier and the both of you. your child will neevr be balanced with an unbalanced parent.

I appreciate your response elizabeth, but in case you didn't notice, this is the forum for SPECIAL NEEDS CHILDREN. My son has SPECIAL NEEDS. Even though "no one has a normal child" my son happens to be one of those children farther down the spectrum of normal behavior. If things were as simple as "oh, just make it a game! Don't be negative and things will be great!" I wouldn't be making this post. He's on medication, but he's got the wrong diagnosis and his doctor is refusing to believe he needs another assessment. The next step is a neurologist, and we can't get in to see them until April. Which means for the next two months, I'll be dealing with a child running around his first grade classroom smacking himself in the forehead and smearing his own feces on the bathroom wall. Or is that just caused by my negativity? My son is six years old. By this point, I know how motherhood is. I know what sacrifices I've made and will continue to make under the prayer that he somehow becomes a contributing member to society. YOUR fear right now is whether or not your kid will like you when they get older, MY fear is whether or not my child will be institutionalized. YOUR concern is your child feeding off your energy, MY concern is what is going on in his brain that he can't tell the difference between why he's rewarded and why there are consequences, at all. He behaves however he feels and to him, rewards are some random nice thing that happened for no reason. And discipline is random bad things that happen for no reason. Your tactics work great for kids with brains that function in the realm of regular behavior, that realm does not exist to my son's mind. This is not Parenting 101 in here. And as for my being "unbalanced" why don't you try living my life and dealing with what I deal with every day? I had a bad day, and I'm entitled to have them. I don't go home and take these feelings out on him, that wouldn't be fair. He has no comprehension of why his behavior is so inappropriate (and I happen to know this from six years of experience with him). No, I don't, I come here and vent my frustration. That does not make me an "unbalanced" parent, but it does make you a jerk.

Hi. Welcome to Girl-Mom, Elizabeth. There's a section towards the top of the page where you can introduce yourself, so that we can all get to know you better. That said, while a lot of that is great advice in most parenting situations, this is a forum specifically for special needs issues. A lot of the typical parenting advice does not apply. There's a lot of mama guilt associated with having a child who has special needs. It has nothing to do with her aura or being unbalanced - from what I know of her from being on this board for a couple of years, she seems like a pretty balanced person. Anyway, welcome to girl-mom. I hope to see you around the boards!

ok seriously i'm just trying to be fucking nice. i am not trying to bash anybody! i'm fucking sorry i said anything that you didn't like. & YOU don't know her. she USED to be my best friend. i know almost everything about her. so don't tell me i'm fucking judging her. you know what seriously fuck this site. i came here thinking i'd talk with all these NICE young moms like me. but no all you guys want to do is fight with anybody with an opinion or if they say something YOU don't like. this is nuts! have you ever heard of opps i'm sorry i fucked up please forgive me & stop fucking yelling at me????? it's already bad enough i'm going through this pregnancy by myself & now i come on here & i'm still shunned. i'm never coming back on here again.

I am very sorry for the hurtful things that were said to you mama. I have a special needs child too ( J is just like your son). I find going to the neurologist did help alot. They think j has a mood disorder, did you ever think that might be whats wrong ( maybe a manic episode of some sort). I know what it feels like to be called at work and almost lose your job, the feeling of wanting to cry all the time, the hopelessness, The constant feeling that you may not love your child, or constant asking of why he behaves like a monster. Its not your fault in any way and don't let anyone tell you that it is. and btw if your unbalanced I must be too because I feel your pain and I absolutely understand what you are going through. I am going to pm, you my number. You can text call whatever you like. If you don't want to use it thats ok too but just know that im here for you.

Hey Elizabeth521, you seem to be having some trouble getting used to the site. I recommend the "i've been called out thread" and the mission statement. Feel free to pm me if you need to talk things out with me. This is a very unique space. It is exceptionally more 'safe' emotionally for a lot of marginalized women than the real world. Because of these we operate on much stricter guidelines than you might be used to in your daily life. This stuff is hard to unlearn, but if you are willing to commit to it you are welcome to stay. If not, you may be banned.

Thank you. You brought tears to my eyes, it's just...it's nice. Thank you. I don't know, I've been wondering about bipolar disorder. My father had it, and my younger sister has it. He doesn't seem to have the down side though, but I've read that some children don't, it comes later. Thank you for the number, I'll use it.

Bi polar is a inherited disease and alot of kids do not exhibit the depression side. Make sure they don't try to tell you its automatically adhd. they tried to do that with j. They won't acknowladge a mood disorder unless you push it. They think j has bipolar, and I have developed some techniques to help deal with him and hes gotten much better lately.

I'm sorry I didn't post earlier, T, but I want you to know that I'm thinking of you. I obviously don't know what you're going through, but I remember the out of control feeling I had when I was depressed and I imagine it must be a million times worse when your child is struggling with mental health problems. That's so frustrating that your doctor misdiagnosed him and is refusing to do anything about it! Can you see another doctor on the insurance you have now? (I think I remember that you do have insurance with your job, right?) Hopefully, the neurologist will be helpful. I'm so sorry that you're feeling the way that you are. I'm sorry that you didn't find an entirely safe space when you posted about it here, too. Please let me (us) know if there's anything I (we) can do to support you, beyond just listening.

T I know that you are a wonderful and dedicated mom. It can be so frustrating when kids act out. Hang in there and always remember that you are amazing. You son loves you. It just sounds like he has some issues that he doesnt know how to deal with. He is so young and is doing the best he can to please you and everyone else. Good Luck!