I have been having a problem with one of my husbands friends. I have known this guy since high school, and we never have seen eye to eye. Now, he has been dating one of my best friends for over 5 years, and he is best friends with my husband (they have been friends longer than we have been together, and him and I have not gotten a long longer than I have been with my husband.) Although we have not gotten a long in the past, I am constantly trying my absolute best to try to get a long with him, as I respect that he is my best friends significant other, and good friends with my husband.

My problem is, this guy continues to be an ass to me. He doesn't do anything directly, its subtle comments, attitudes, and constant contradications of absolutely everything I say, and every opinion I hold tight to. Let me give some examples;

Last night, he was upset, because he had to shoot a movie (hes an actor), in the city and he was stuck in our small town. He was worried about not being able to get a bus to the city. He was just kinda standing there, and I said "I will go check the internet to see if we can find you a bus, so you can get to where you need to go", and went to go on the computer....we he gets really angry, and says " I know how to check the internet". I was just trying to help. *His girlfriend/my friend tried to stick up for me*

We were talking about marriage, and money, and I said that I could not be married to a man, who didnt have a job, or have any intentions of getting a job. He pretty much said I was superficial, and got all defensive *his girlfriend/my friend tried to stand up for me, again*

He got mad at me for telling someone not to use the word (trigger) "Paki" in front of me, and yelled at me in the middle of the street.

I tried to ask him about his new job, because I was trying to show interest in his life, and what he is doing, and he got all defensive, out of no-where, and refused to tell me *AGAIN my friend defended me*

The problem is 1. My husband never defends me. Dosnt say a damn thing, and gets mad at me, and takes his friends side, when I get upset.
and 2. I dont know how to address this issue myself. This guy is my best friends boyfriend, and I dont want to make things weird for her, and he is my husbands friend, and I dont want to be the cause of him to loose a friend. The only solution I can think of, is not to hang out with them (my husband and best friend), when this guy is around. I just really dont want to inconviniance anyone, or make things awkward.

I am sorry for the long post, and it must seem like these are trivial issues, but its really causing some issues at home.