Good Luck, K. Alot of babies have tooth decay, as long as you care for it now the decay will not get to her permanent teeth. People may be rude, but ef them. You are doing a good job. Did the dentist recommend brushing multiple times a day? I think that plaque does not build up fast enough to need that, twice should be plenty. It takes plaque + sugar to form cavities, so keeping the plaque away is one strategy but all limiting the amount of time per day she spends eating sugary foods. My dentist told me it is not the AMOUNT of sugar, but the frequency. It takes the mouth twenty minutes to neutralize the acid that forms in your mouth immediately after eating sugary foods. So, you could offer her milk or juice for only ten minutes, let her drink what she will and then give her water. Don't let her sip or graze on sugary/starchy foods. Also, know that some kids get tooth decay regardless of any actions the parents take. You are doing the excellently, just try not to stress.

This is not your fault. Matt had the same problems, I got him dental work, and he's fine now. I will say this though, with what you're describing you need to get her help before this causes permanent damage to your relationship. Remember something. Baby teeth fall out, it's what they're designed to do. Brushing her teeth a million times a day won't stop that from happening, it'll just make her hate brushing her teeth, make her angry with you, and then she'll have dental problems later in life when she doesn't brush like she should out of defiance or a lack of caring. Teach her good, normal brushing habits regardless of if you don't think it's enough. It IS enough and it's all she has to learn. I forsee a lot more harm happening in your relationship with her than what is happening with her teeth. Just remind yourself these are BABY teeth, and just because she's got problems with them means nothing about the future. Back off on brushing her, concentrate on keeping your relationship with her good, and her relationship with normal dental hygiene good. If her permanents come in and you see the same kind of damage going on, that's the time to worry and teach her (because she'll be old enough to care for them herself) that she needs more than average brushing.

I think you should get her to a dentist ASAP. There are kid friendly dentists. I don't think kids learn their bodies aren't their own when they have to have medical care and it is compassionate. Did Maddox want to have his toncills and adnoids out when he was 3? Nope, he sure didn't but the compassion of the hospital staff was so wonderful he remembers it fondly. Maddox has had MULTIPLE caries. He had iron supplements as a baby (his hemoglobin was 5.3 at the worst) so he gets them easily. He had his first tooth fixed before 3. It was awful and he had to be held down to even clean his teeth. (Caries CAN get to adult teeth from baby teeth, btw, and cause severe pain.) After that they decided sedation would be a better option for him. He comes in, gets sedation, they talk about everything they are going to do before they do it and are extemely compassionate about everything. He now LOVES the dentist and we go every 6 months on the dot. I think you can find a compassionate dentist for her and it won't be as bad as you think it will be

I don't think I've posted about this in a while. Around 18 months, we got one of her teeth capped. We went in for a consult about general anesthesia and decided that it was less traumatic to do a papoose than general anesthesia. However, it was traumatic. Her lips were swollen from how hard she struggled. She became completely unresponsive for hours after the procedure. Even though I made multiple appointments stressing how important it was to me that it be as gentle as possible, they wanted to put her in the papoose to wait for the dentist, despite how scary they thought it was. They gave us no written directions on aftercare, told my partner the aftercare instructions while T was screaming, and wouldn't let both of us go back. So, we're looking for a new dentist. Luckily, DH recently got insurance through his job, so we have a lot more options on caregivers. We really want to interview the dentist, first, though, before we choose, but this seems like an uncommon practice and most dentists won't let us do this. We just really want a better idea of what we're getting into before she has dental work this time. To be honest, it's more important that we have a dentist who's gentle so that she doesn't have another traumatic dentist experience than it be holistic, but I'm frustrated that none of the dentists we've seen have given me any suggestions on how to stop the decay - they just are willing to fix it (luckily last time her tooth was capped, but hopefully next time she'll just need a filling, requiring me to find someone who will do a composite filling). And she's going to need more dental work. I found a new cavity. I cried when I saw it. We just have done so much to try and arrest the decay, and it's still not stopping. We've even started to transition off of a vegan diet to a Weston A. Price diet in hopes of arresting the decay, on top of xylitol and probiotics and trying to teach her to spit well enough to use fluoridated toothpaste. We recently found out that the DO we were taking T to was a complete quack. Well, that's not nice, but at the very least, we have very different views about medicine than her and it's not a good fit. So, we're trying to change doctors for her, but since we don't vaccinate and don't have a car, we have pretty limited choices. She needs a two year checkup soon, anyway, and I'm going to see if I can get the doctor to check her vitamin levels as well as test her saliva, since both of those things can affect dental health. I worry that between not vaccinating, her ECC, and constantly changing doctors and dentists, I'm gonna get CPS called on me.

When T opened her mouth today, I noticed that a triangle bit of the tooth on the tooth that I found the new cavity is missing. The cavity is still there, though. We have a consult with a new dentist next week. I don't know what to do. I was reading one of those free parenting magazines and they talked about how like 95% of tooth decay in children is preventable just by starting an oral care regime before the kid is one. And I did that. And more. And I just can't stop my kid's teeth from rotting. Like that's what drives me nuts about the whole situation: I do all this research and give all this money to dentists (who don't even seem to have any answers as to how to make this STOP) and her teeth just keep rotting. I hate it. I hate hate HATE it. I just want to fix everything for her, and I can't. It's just not fair.

I'm sorry mama, that is such a horrible thing to deal with. Although sometimes the ECC is just something that can't be helped. I have something called calcium deposits and it is rotting my teeth away by the gums. We've tried everything to stop it, even prescription tooth paste, act enamel restoring mouth wash and brushing my teeth 3-5 times a day instead of 2, but it isn't helping, on top of that medicaid here only does dental until 21 and we lost our ins for 3 months and my 21st bday is in a month. I need a lot of work done before then. . . . anyways sorry i got off track but like I was saying sometimes it doesn't matter what you do, the persons teeth are just like that, weak enamel or something similar. And Ian now has ECC and his teeth seem to very similar to mine. Can you find a pediatric dentist in your area that is covered? They tend to be a lot more in tune with what is the gentle way of doing it. I'm sure they see timid kiddos all the time. And it sucks, but they are baby teeth and maybe her adult teeth won't be so bad. Don't be so hard on yourself mama, you are doing everything you can, you are doing your best. Thats all you can ask for. Oh and we bought this mouth wash that stains the teeth blue so you can see where the tartar is. My youngest son is 2 1/2 and we give him a little bit, you might try that to make sure you are brushing her teeth the best you can. And with her teeth chiping around the cavity it does sound like weak enamel, like I have.

You weren't going to a Small Smiles dentist office were you? Do you think she's getting enough calcium & vit d? I'm sorry her teeth keep getting worse, I hope you find a better dentist and someone can give you some answers as to what to do.

We had the consult today. It went pretty well. The dentist seems to have a concern for the emotional part of going to the dentist, a change from the previous dentists we've used. She's willing to help T get over her anxiety around the dentist, even though she said that because she's had that trauma it's gonna be really hard. Unfortunately, because T has such extreme decay she needs dental work ASAP. She's gonna have her restorative dental work under general anesthesia. Scary. But I saw how traumatic using the papoose was, so I figure it can't be much worse than that. Still, if you pray or could send good vibes or whatever for her safety for this, I'd really appreciate it. This dentist is also gonna help work with us on some of the preventative stuff, too. She gave us some liquid fluoride to put on her teeth with a Q-tip so that she can't really swallow it. She still thinks that nursing is cariogenic, but she's still supportive of me nursing on demand. She also didn't have a TV on in the waiting room but did have a bunch of kids toys, which made me happy. And she actually talked to my daughter, greeting her and stuff. All of which makes me happy, even though it's irrelevant to whether this will be good care for my daughter. I'm really hoping that this dentist works out well. I worry that I'm being so optimistic because I have the pressure of my daughter who needs more dental work very quickly. Still, I am optimistic. And that's a change.

Oh, I forgot to mention another thing that I'm really thankful about: When we capped T's tooth last time, they gave her a silver cap, even though it was for her front tooth. This dentist is willing to do a porcelain cap, which will be less noticeable. As much as I don't want to sound vain, even my mother bugs me about getting it replaced when she's older so she doesn't feel self-conscious about it. The dentist says she'll replace the cap while T's under.

Thats so awesome! I'm happy you are able to find a good dentist willing to work with you!!!

that all sounds so great

The insurance company has FINALLY authorized the surgery. She's scheduled for April 3rd. Any advice on how to prepare a just-turned-two year old?

Glad to hear you've finally found a (human) dentist! I can only imagine how frustrated you must be about the whole situation.

Are there any books at the library you can check out about going to the dentist? Can you play dentist at home, let her pretend to be the dentist and tell her you need a special nap? My DD used to be terrified of doctors and when she started pretending to be a doctor she almost immediately changed her tune. (She was 2 at the time.) I can't say she had the same experiences as your DD, but it might be worth a shot. Maybe explain that she's going for a special dentist nap and then afterwards you're going to have a special dentist nap day where you can do whatever's special to her? Probably not helping here LOL but just throwing out some ideas. Good luck! I'm sending some chill kiddo vibes!

We went to talk to the medical staff at the hospital yesterday. I'm not really sure what to think about it. The first person we saw was a nurse practitioner. She seemed to think that general anesthesia was not in T's best interest due to the separation and that T, in her opinion, was very "dependent" on me, due to breastfeeding - that she hadn't learned to self-soothe and that the procedure might be traumatic and we should consider waiting. She even called the dentist on our behalf to talk about this.

The second person we saw was just a nurse. She didn't seem to have the same apprehension. We were told that we would not be able to be in the recovery room with T by both nurses, but the second said that we would be reunited with our daughter as soon as she woke (or when a nurse had time!) The second nurse said that T could only have apple juice or water after midnight until four hours before her surgery, while T's dentist said that she could also nurse. (It makes no sense to me that she could have apple juice but not human milk before the surgery; human milk is way more digestible.)

So, at this point, I'm confused as to what I should do. If we do go through with the procedure, at least T got a chance to see where it'll all happen. I think having the place not be totally new will help. We're waiting for the dentist to call. I can't wait until this is all resolved. It seems like this has been going on FOREVER.

Found new decay. We put her under general anesthesia not even three months ago and here we are again.

I'm so sorry to hear that. It must be so hard to know you're doing everything right and things are still going wrong.

wow stay strong mama! im so sorry!

I'm sorry to hear that K, hang in there.

So sorry Mama :hugs: Stay strong and hang in there mama!