(this is from an old stickie - I wanted to repost it to make sure everyone reads it ... again if they need to)

Girlmom.com is a community by and for teen and young mothers. We welcome childless women and mothers who were older when they gave birth to their first child to participate as allies. We appreciate knowing that not everyone believes the stereotypes about us and we like having people to support, advocate for and defend us, but there are a few guidelines for ally posting.

-Please respect that this is our space. Girlmom often serves as a refuge from the negativity we recieve in real life Please make sure you don't bring any of that here. If you don't agree with someone's choices, you need to keep perspective and consider how you'd react in their situation before you say something judgmental.

-You are welcome to post about your own concerns, but please be mindful of where and how you are posting. Your primary function as an ally should be to support young/teen mothers and to educate yourself on issues we face. Make sure that instead of using girlmom as a website that serves YOUR needs, you recognize that it is here to serve the needs of a different population. Make sure you aren't speaking so much or so loudly that the voices of women who need this space are drowned out.

-Please don't tell us how to run our site, particularly if that involves catering it to your needs. A valid concern can be taken up with a moderator.

-Recognize that if you aren't a mom, you don't know what it's like to be a mom. It doesn't matter how many times you've babysat, how often you take care of your niece/nephew/brother/cousin, you don't know until you are there. If you have not been a pregnant teen, a teen/young mom, a single mom, a working mom, etc, you don't know what these experiencecs are like, so please don't attempt to downplay the hardships involved. If we tell you this, don't react defensively. Instead, let it be a reminder for you to see if you are trying to speak with authority about something you haven't experienced.

-Be aware of your privileges. Realize that we face additional struggles based on our age, and you don't know or understand the teen mom experience just because you "look young." Recognize that certain parenting practices may not be open to us, or we may not have enough confidence yet for certain aspects of pregnancy or birth. People come to different places and stages of life at different ages.

-We are not on display here, and we do not exist to make you feel better about your life. We don't need to feel extra pressure to prove ourselves to older moms or people without kids in our own safe space. At some point we may decide we'd like a private forum for teen/young moms only, and this isn't meant to exclude you, but to make sure girlmom fulfills the purpose for which it is intended.

If there is anything you feel should be added to these guidelines, feel free to post it here.