Lately I've been very impatient and getting really frustrated with my son. He's 3 1/2 months old and he's a very fussy baby.. he probably cries 5-6 hours or so a day and he doesn't sleep much at night. I'm lucky to get 3-4 hours a night of sleep because even though bd and I live together, he doesn't really help with him at night. I'm always exhausted and I think this lack of sleep is catching up with me. I'm finishing up my last semester of college.. I gradutae in 2 weeks and reality is smacking me in the face.. Sure, I have my BS in psychology but I can't find a job related to my degree.. I'm going back to a $7 an hour job at the daycare and I have $50,000 in student loans to pay back.. Financially things are really bad right now because I haven't been working since my son was born in January and bd makes $7 an hour which doesnt go very far and I dont even know how the rent is going to get paid, let alone the other bills.. I just feeling like everything is piling up at wants and I'mn getting burried.. I'm edgy all the time and I'll just cry because I'm so frustrated with everything.

I have a history of anxiety and depression and I'm on Zoloft for it, which was helping but I think my depression may be manifesting itself as anger and frustration right now.. I don't have a counselor right now (mine dropped me.. but I'm not going to get into it here) and I'm on medical assistance and the only place I can go is the county mental health center, however I've been there before and I dont wnat to return because I discovered that the counselor I had been seeing had come to a bunch of conclusions and had things written down in the notes about me that were innacurrate and upset me.. and anyhow they have a 3 month wait to get in to see someone anyways.. I recognize whats happening here and it actually isnt a big surprise.. in my past going back to when I was about 5, I tend to fall into dpression when I'm facing major transitions in my life (ie. changinging school, graduation, etc).. I've never been very good at dealing with change.

I'm so sorry that this is so long and I'm rambling on.. I just have no one to talk to IRL and on top of everything I feel incredibly isolated. Sure I go to class but I dont really know anyone and I really dont have any friends.. I became very isolated when I got pregnant and its still that way.. I dont feel like I can relate to my old friends anymore because we have totally different priorities now that I have a child (they are childless and very much into the partying thing yet). The two friends I have with children have their own issues and are preoccuppied with their current situations right now and anyhow they both live far away (ones 150 miles, the other is 1000 miles away). Sorry.. here I go rambling again..

Anyways I was wondering if anyone has any suggestions as to managing/coping with depression/anxiety.. I'm not very good at this and I'm really trying to not self-medicate and turn to smoking pot 24/7 to deal with this which is how I've handled things in the past..
Thanks for listening and I'm sorry I rambled on for so long.